


Always

by RoslynCarisi (Yoselin)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 00:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17570993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoselin/pseuds/RoslynCarisi
Summary: Premise: Rafael Barba dwells on an unpleasant encounter he had with a defense lawyer while on a date with his lover.





	Always

_Aunque la mona se vista de seda, mona se queda._  
Growing up, Rafael Barba had heard the saying multiple times in Spanish. It was an old saying and never failed to make him feel irritated.  
Growing up in _el barrio_ , coming from immigrants living paycheck to paycheck, he had worked hard to redesign himself. The scholarship to Harvard had been his saving grace. He had risen ages beyond his station, remade himself into something that fit into the world around him, and tried hard to put distance between his past and his present.  
The Rafael Barba that had grown up running around with his friends, skinning his knees and coming home with dirt on his clothing was gone. In his place stood a respectable man of law dressed to the nines daily, spending time on yachts and rubbing elbows with New York’s elite. He had become something larger than life, admirable in a sea of nothing, and he tried hard to maintain his reputation.  
But now someone was trying to unearth it. The defense of the case he was working on had brought it up during their recent confrontation. The lawyer, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, had looked down on Rafael for his past. How many times had Rafael seen that look before? The smirk, the arrogant tilt of the chin, the sneer? How many times had he seen that same expression on the Harvard boys when they found out he was on a scholarship?  
Rafael’s mood sours and he raises the glass of liquor to his lips. It’s expensive, worth more than his weekly salary, and the taste brings some clarity to mind. The liquor reminds him that he is not that little boy anymore, he’s much more than just the boy that grew up without money.  
He is not ashamed of his past, far from it, but Rafael still would rather be seen for who he is today. Perhaps that is why he dresses in such expensive clothing. Perhaps a high price tag will influence other’s thoughts about him more than his past in _los barrios_.  
Rafael sets the glass down and takes in his surroundings. He is in a very high end restaurant, the kind reservations take months to make, and seated across his date. They’re a pretty thing he’s been seeing for months now and he’s sure they feel something deep for one another. His plate contains a food he can’t pronounce, his glass is full of an expensive wine from the top shelf, and his suit is Italian and expensive. He thinks he’s carved out a nice life for himself despite his upbringing instead of in spite of it.  
Still, having an arrogant lawyer born in a family with too many zeroes in the bank and raised by nannies in a golden mansion has really rubbed him the wrong way. He jabs at his meal with his fork and glares at the far wall. What does a spoiled brat just graduated from law school know about him? What could someone born with opportunities a plenty ever know about working your way from the bottom?  
He clears his throat and bites the inside of his cheek hard. His date raises an eyebrow inquisitively. They have that gift, Rafael realizes, they can make him want to talk without even saying a word.  
He sets his fork down slowly and tries to think of a way to phrase his thoughts without sounding too bothered by them. The last thing he wants to do is worry his lover during their date.  
“A defense lawyer stopped me in the hallway this morning and asked me what business I had prosecuting his case if I was no one but a poor Bronx kid dressed up in fancy clothing,” Rafael makes a sound at the back of his throat. He can still see that arrogant sneer on the lawyer’s face and it makes him bristle with irritation.  
His lover purses their lips. “What a ridiculous thing to say. I hope you know that’s not true.”  
Rafael raises the wineglass to his lips again and stares past them at the wall. In truth, the words had nagged at him all day. He had spent hours seething internally.  
Rafael Barba was confident in his own abilities and his own merits, he knew better than to let anyone tell him otherwise, but it was still maddening to be talked down to by someone half his age and half his talent.  
Shaking his head, Rafael purses his own lips. He shoves the unpleasant encounter aside.  
“Why would I care about what some spoiled, rich brat has to say? The fact that he feels the need to attack me says a lot about his character. His case is a lost cause and he knows it well. This is just his desperate attempt at trying to get under my skin,” Rafael offers a confident smile to his lover. He is trying hard to push the entire matter aside.  
His lover still seems a little worried despite the projection Rafael tries to maintain. They have a talent for that, they can easily sidestep the confident demeanor and see the truth plainly underneath all his layers. Rafael hasn’t decided yet whether he appreciates their gift or despises it.  
Their hand reaches over the table for his own and their touch is calming. Rafael is surprised to see that he had been clenching his fingers over his fork as his irritation grew. He relaxes his grip and lets his date intertwine their fingers together.  
“Don’t let him get to you, he doesn’t know how hard it was for you to get here. You worked your way up, he was born into it. In my book, working your way is worth more than paying it,” his date stares directly into his eyes and hundreds of emotions swirl there, “I can guarantee he is just threatened by your strength. After all, He should be, you’re a force to be reckoned with.”  
Their words are a confidence boost and the corner of his mouth quirks up. He squeezes their fingers in his grip and nods.  
“I know, _cariño_ ,” he soothes. Still, he looks away. “I’m not ashamed of that past, you know, I don’t feel embarrassed to admit that I didn’t come from money. I’m never letting go of that kid in Jerome Avenue running through the streets with his friends, daydreaming about a scholarship that could get him out of his station. I’ve never felt ashamed of him. I just-“  
He carries off looking for the right words. His date finishes the sentence for him.  
“-Want to be seen as something more? I get it. You worked hard to be where you are today, you deserve to be seen for that too. I understand.”  
Silence reigns over their table and he feels more than a little thankful. His date has captured it all in words without him needing to voice it aloud. He is relieved and the unpleasant incident from the morning is quickly fading into the background of his memory. He relaxes and eases into his seat.  
His lover continues, however.  
“Either way, I would choose you over and over again.”  
Their smile is warm, affectionate, and Rafael has to pause for just a moment. Surprise colors his features and he raises an eyebrow.  
“Even if I were still that kid from Jerome Avenue?”  
His voice sounds a little surprised as he says it. Would his date really choose him even if they were in a different place? Even if the restaurant around them were a fast food joint, the food on their plate a greasy burger, and the drink in their glass a knock off soda brand?  
The thought seems a little mystifying, but his lover seems not to mind it. Sincerity burns in their gaze and they nod.  
“Always.”  
It is a powerful word that means so much. The last remnants of doubt are melted away by the sheer intensity of that one promise. Rafael squeezes his lover’s hand and eases back into his seat. His mind is soothed and his spirits uplifted. His lover really has that effect on him, he is grateful.  
Silence settles around the two of them, a comfortable peace, and Rafael lifts his wineglass to his lips. The room seems lighter now and their evening brightens.  
Deciding to continue their date, he takes a drink from his wine.  
“So how was your day, _cariño_?”


End file.
